12:21 PM
"i can't believe it! this was graded only a B??""Damn i only achieved a B+ for my term paper $@!#^!%#"
these are comments i've been hearing. people whining about their excessive number of Bs in their records and affecting their CAP or grade point average or whatever. (no offence to all my frens out there who've been getting fantastic results.. kudos to you guys! im merely spewing and rambling along here. ignore me.)
And i think, where are my As and Bs?
why wasn't i getting grades like them? we were all equal in JC, and my performance was definitely better in secondary school.
where has it all gone?
Some answer me, dont worry! you're doing chinese! thats like ten times harder and we'll probably get consistent Fs if we majored in Chinese. (sidenote: yes thats how ang mo i am. i think i must be one of the more ang mo ones in my current class. or am i the only ang mo one?)
which, again, sets me thinking. did i choose wrongly? i remembered being so honoured when MOE delivered two sets of scholarships (well ok maybe the NIE one isn't officially/techinically a scholarship even though it looks like one) to my door (its not like i did fantastically well). One, the teaching award, to major in English in NUS, and two, to study in NIE, majoring in Chinese. i thought and thought and after a painful and heartbreaking session leafing through my two huge envelopes, i decided on the latter. Cuz i wanted to be effectively bilingual (read: double degrees for both languages) and i thought i'd better do Chinese first since it was my 'weaker' language and i didn't wanna lose it after taking it for two years in junior college. so my favourite English Literature had to take a backseat to all these.
and its times like this, during the dismal e-x-a-m periods that i regret my choice. would i have flourished better going after my passion (maybe not really that much passion: i was supposed to major in English Language but my love was for English Literature)? i don't know. i'll never know.
Right. back to cramming for the toughest last paper. although i seriously think i won't be feeling any particular thrill of exhilaration after my exams, considering i already screwed three papers.
Damn.