11:27 AM
was catching up on all the past entries of my friends' blogs (i lost touch with the virtual world after i moved out of hostel) and realized that Jasmine had dedicated a wonderful "i believe in you" to me. i had no idea why but i felt strangely touched. it was like, there's someone out there who actually believe i am capable of achieving good results. i know i can, but i'm just too lazy to...which brought me back memories of English Literature back in JC. i was on the bottom rung of the ladder in E. Lit, have totally flunked my first year June common tests (read: i got straight Fs) and only weakly managed an 'E' during the first year finals. i sort of started believing i couldn't do it, not even for what i thought was my favourite subject. i was still getting 'E's into my second year June common tests. and it was somewhere during a cold blustery day in August, when the prelims were drawing near, that i seriously started asking myself what i had been doing. i should be getting better grades! it kind of awakened some innate thing in me and it was like my, uh, inner eye was awakened. i whipped out the pieces for Practical Criticism and started putting my effort in producing the essays. when i got it back i was shrieking for joy inside. hopeless failure a.k.a. me actually garnered a more than positive comment for my essays! it was marked by Mrs. Lofthouse, i remember, and her comments were "This is almost an 'A'. blah blah (cant remember)". it was the same for the gothic theme. all the while i had been scoring 10/25 to 13/25 for Gothic themed essays, and this time round my essay garnered a 21/25. i still remember Mrs Lau literally skipping up to me during morning assembly and beaming and telling me to "write more essays like this!". i was so elated, elated, elated. i begun to explore the Gothic theme further, and found my love within PC dramas and Shakespearean plays.
those were the days.
and i know i can make those days come back again, if i want them to.
Let's hope this kind of determination holds up all the way till my next sem.
Meanwhile, thanks Jaz! *hugs* on a lighter note, when are we hitting the stores together and do you wanna do our hair together? =) im gonna colour and cut... =)